Today i walked back the same route to kkh, wondering if i could walk the same painful path alone.
Hubby told me to take a longer route so that i will not have to walk the same familiar path but part of me just wanted to walk that same road.. Its quite sick, like inflicting pain on myself .. Or i just want to challenge myself to face the pain so that i can heal.
Sometimes i don't understand myself too.
Hubby prepared my ipod for me to listen along the way so as to distract me. This ipod is really good after so many years . As i was listening to Don Moen songs, i can't help but tears just brimmed to my eyes. He would have regret preparing my ipod for me if he knows i m teary again.
Today saw a familiar face at the ivf center and we started chatting. I got to know that they have faced loss before and have been trying many years to get pregnant too and coincidentally they have also been married for 9 years. Their transfer couldn't be done and my heart went out for them as i saw the disappointment and sadness.
I silently prayed a prayer that we would both be able to receive our bundle of joy .
I was chatting with a colleague about baking. The only thing that i ever made was cheesecake & to bake using cornflakes. As i asked him if he has baked cornflakes before, the words i uttered out made me feel uncomfortable as i recalled my baby's nickname.
I saw this article and was really touched as it write out the true feelings of a mum who faced a loss.
http://thelewisnote.com/a-letter-to-my-rainbow-baby
Hubby told me to take a longer route so that i will not have to walk the same familiar path but part of me just wanted to walk that same road.. Its quite sick, like inflicting pain on myself .. Or i just want to challenge myself to face the pain so that i can heal.
Sometimes i don't understand myself too.
Hubby prepared my ipod for me to listen along the way so as to distract me. This ipod is really good after so many years . As i was listening to Don Moen songs, i can't help but tears just brimmed to my eyes. He would have regret preparing my ipod for me if he knows i m teary again.
Today saw a familiar face at the ivf center and we started chatting. I got to know that they have faced loss before and have been trying many years to get pregnant too and coincidentally they have also been married for 9 years. Their transfer couldn't be done and my heart went out for them as i saw the disappointment and sadness.
I silently prayed a prayer that we would both be able to receive our bundle of joy .
I was chatting with a colleague about baking. The only thing that i ever made was cheesecake & to bake using cornflakes. As i asked him if he has baked cornflakes before, the words i uttered out made me feel uncomfortable as i recalled my baby's nickname.
I saw this article and was really touched as it write out the true feelings of a mum who faced a loss.
http://thelewisnote.com/a-letter-to-my-rainbow-baby
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